By the time many couples come to see me, they are often painfully trapped in conflict, whether openly expressed or carefully avoided. Couples get into trouble as they get caught up in fights that never seem to resolve. You can’t find your way back to the place of warmth and trust you used to know.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
My approach to couples counseling is based on Emotionally Focused Therapy, originated by Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg. This is a focused, interactive and practical therapy that takes account of the emotional dynamics that involves each individual’s unique history and personality. With this approach, I work with a couple to create a clear understanding of their emotional triggers and vulnerabilities and then to develop a deeper level of security in their relationship. Couples often fight as a way to protest feelings of disconnection and isolation. I will help you to see these old patterns for what they are and take the steps necessary to create new conversations supporting a more loving, trusting relationship.
Safe for Men
Many men fear being dragged into therapy where the therapist will join forces with their female partner and blame them for all the relationship woes. Don’t worry! This is a men-safe area. My agenda is to help you to improve your relationship and to help you each see clearly what you are doing (and not doing) that affects your relationship. You’ll both have an ally here.
I have been trained by Dr Sue Johnson and Dr Sam Jinich. Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy has been shown to be the most effective couples therapy model. I am a member of the International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT) and the Northern California Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy (NCCEFT).
As new research is developed around the issues that couples face and ways to work with them, I incorporate new techniques into my work. By focusing on the emotional dynamics, we work together to help you create a deep and lasting connection with your partner.
I can help you to:
- Stop fights from escalating
- Identify and change the underlying patterns that cause them
- Become more aware of each other’s emotional needs
- Find a path forward to greater safety
- Consider whether you need to end a relationship
In couples therapy, you can learn to:
- Build respect and trust for each other
- Increase your ability to manage strong emotions
- Communicate with clarity and honesty
- Turn disagreements into opportunities for growth
- Have a more satisfying sex life
- Collaborate together to meet your individual and joint needs
Please reach out to me if you are ready to explore taking some steps to improve your relationship.
Prepare/Enrich Premarital Counseling
In addition to EFT couples therapy I am also qualified as a Prepare/Enrich Facilitator. Premarital Counseling often has a religious feel to it, but it can be just as helpful to those who are not religious. I offer premarital counseling to people who do not have a strong religious identification.