“The first duty of love is to listen.” – Paul Tillich
By the time many couples come to see me, they are often painfully trapped in conflict and need help fast. There is a last-ditch effort to save the relationship.
Couples can get into trouble when there has been some form of relationship crisis. They can also get caught up in negative patterns that prove hard to break out of. You can’t find your way back to what made you fall for each other in the first place.
My approach to couples therapy begins by seeking to understand the emotional stance each partner comes in with. Is there hope? We can create a clear understanding of the dynamics that have become a problem in your relationship, as well as what has stopped you from bringing positive change into your relationship.
Couples often fight as a way to protest feelings of disconnection and isolation. I will help you to see these old patterns for what they are and take the steps necessary to create new conversations supporting a more loving, trusting relationship.
Safe for Men
Many men fear being dragged into counseling. The fear is that their female partner will join forces with the therapist and together, blame him for all the problems. This can be stressful and can also end the therapy prematurely.
Working with me is a men-safe area. I’ll aim to help you to improve your relationship and to help you each see clearly what you are doing (and not doing) that affects your relationship. You’ll both have an ally here, but one who will talk straight with you if your behavior is contributing to problems in your relationship.
I can help you to:
- Stop fights from escalating
- Identify and change the underlying patterns that cause them
- Become more aware of each other’s emotional needs
- Find a path forward to greater safety
In couples therapy, you can learn to:
- Build respect and trust for each other
- Increase your ability to manage strong emotions
- Communicate with clarity and honesty
- Turn disagreements into opportunities for growth
- Have a more satisfying sex life
- Collaborate together to meet your individual and joint needs
In addition to couples therapy I also offer premarital counseling based on the Prepare/Enrich approach. Couples who are thinking about getting married often find the breadth of this survey to be a solid grounding for heading into a lifelong commitment.